Every fucking day, without fail, some witless turd will park their ‘precious’ lump of metal shit halfway across the top of our street, thus rendering it near impossible to get OUT the street without driving head on into/over some luckless commuter/bike rider/child/baby in pram who cant see you because of the selfish prick who would rather cause an accident than walk an extra 3 minutes to their front fucking door.


Now, I like driving. I like driving ALOT. Hell, I even like parking . But even I, a self obsessed cake eating waste of space, even I draw the line at parking MY WHOLE CAR ON THE FUCKING PAVEMENT. As sure as Mr and Mrs Witless will park halfway across the top of the road, their friend, Capt. FuckStick, will actually take time, care and EFFORT to park BETWEEN the bollards on the corner designed to stop them parking their in the first fucking place. The purpose of a pavement is pedestrian perambulation. A safe and convenient path between points A and B that a mother and child, say, may take to the shops, an old man to the bookies. You get my point. THIS CAN’T BE DONE IF YOUR HUNK OF FUCK CAR IS CREATING A BERLINIAN WALL BETWEEN ROAD AND GARDEN WALL. I have watched with numb amazement as these people inconvenience mother, child, the blind, the disabled, the sick and the old. And still they persist. Like shite stuck in the sole of your shoe.